Things That Do Not Rock, featuring Spoilers!

What could be more predictable than a film where a rock band caves in to pressure from its label and ditches their drummer only to have the drummer, 20 years later, be a part of the newest up and coming band and have to decide whether or not to open for his original band at their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Well, um, gravity causing objects that fall from high shelves to land on the floor. The intense pain that comes with stubbing your toe. Decapitation leading to death.

The Rocker does anything but rock. As Fish, Rainn Wilson is meant to be an over-the-top train wreck of a character. Instead, Wilson delivers an over-acted train wreck of a performance...if ever there was an actor meant to be in a minimal supporting role, Rainn Wilson is it. In fact, his performance in Juno is even a little bit too long.

In fact, all the casting in this movie is weird. Pathetic emo boy Teddy Geiger (who played Wayne on the short-lived TV series Love Monkey) is cast as the pathetic emo-pop band's front man Curtis, and the very talented Emma Stone (who was incredible in The House Bunny) is cast as the bass player. Although Stone is underused in the film, she and Geiger make a reasonable pairing, considering the inevitable romance that blossoms between the two of them. And then we have Josh Gad playing Matt, the chubby keyboard playing nerd with a future at MIT. How in the world did he end up in the band? In what universe are the brooding emo boy and the hot post-feminist punk-lite chick friends with the science geek?

They play the same generic emo-pop song throughout the film. There is the inevitable moment where Curtis lashes out at Fish because their sleazy manager tells him Fish is banging his mom. And there is the inevitable moment where Fish agrees to play at his old band's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and discovers that not only have the guys turned into complete douche bags, but they are actually lip syncing their performance!

In short, this movie isn't worth seeing. If you saw School of Rock, you'll get the basic story and a far superior performance from the film's star.