A Movie to Put You Off Cheese

The cover of I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With declares it to be hilarious. Apparently, the reviewer from the New York Times who said this believes "hilarious" means "causes you to want to shoot your toes off one at a time." This movie is awful, and everyone involved with it, from stars Jeff Garlin and Sarah Silverman to the guy who swept under the craft services table should be ashamed of themselves. Like Gigli ashamed.

Jeff Garlin plays James, a fat struggling actor and all-around loser. He's fat. His job, which he loses, is on a hidden-camera prank show that's actually more hurtful than funny. He also gets fired from Chicago's Second City comedy troupe, his agent drops him, his girlfriend leaves him. He's 39 and lives with his mother. And, he loses a part in a remake of Marty (the part of Marty, a fat middle-aged loser who lives with his mother) to Aaron Carter. Yeah, that Aaron Carter.

Then he meets Beth (Sarah Silverman). She seems sweet. She works in an ice-cream parlor. She invites him for a walk, then for a fitting in a lingerie shop. Then she sleeps with him. And then she tells him that she only slept with him because she'd never had sex with a fat guy before and wanted to see what it was like.

This movie does not get any more cheery. If there were to be a sequel made, it would probably be two hours of James standing in line at the unemployment office. The movie is just one colossal downer and gets more and more depressing as it goes along. Honestly, when it was done I wanted to pry open my skull, find the place where the memory of having seen it is stored, pick out that piece of my brain and throw it away.